Reflecting on birthdays, age, wisdom and life as I turn 21

The age-old joke of “How does it feel to be [age]?”,and year on end my reply is “the same as yesterday”, accompanied by a shy laugh because what can really change in a day, right? But then I think about all those singular days where the sails of my life changed course and when you add them all up, my answer becomes very different.

I don’t necessarily believe that age determines wisdom, it’s experience. Especially in your 20s, people come from different backgrounds, family structures, and are in different cycles of life (moved countries, have kids, a stable career, etc). But not all experiences can be tangible and that’s what makes us all so different. I’ve given advice to friends way older than me and vice-versa. This reminds me of the day before my birthday, I watched a TikTok where this girl carried a book with her for strangers of all ages to give her advice for her birthday. I thought ‘Wow I wish I could do that’, but quickly dismissed it as I was getting on my flight back home.

After settling into my seat on the plane, an old Irish woman shuffling into the seat behind me exclaimed “Sorry, coming through!”, whilst clutching my seat for support. My mum beside me turned to tell the lady that she shouldn’t apologise and from there we started a conversation about how people have become less tolerant and more selfish. A few minutes later, the woman started again by saying “Girls, I’m sorry but I want to give some unsolicited advice here, is that okay?”, to which we both replied, “That’s fine, of course”. So here is the advice: “I just wanted to say you should be proud of yourselves for the women that you are, and to never let a man think he is cleverer than you.”

Oh. Well, I didn’t expect that from a stranger I’d only met 5 minutes ago (but she wasn’t wrong). In my own way, I have been receiving genuine advice without even realising it.

On another occasion, two days before my birthday, I was at the dentist in Bulgaria, when an old family of my mum walked in. The wait being an hour long, we had plenty of time to catch up. She is in her late 60s and both her sons live abroad (one in America and one in Spain) so she travels very often. Not only that but she told me tales of her travels in the Dominican Republic and other places, that she signed up to learn English and Spanish and makes an effort to learn a little from every place she visits to be able to form real connections with the community and rely on her own ability when she travels.

She also goes to the gym and my favourite of all was when she said: “I wake up every day and look in the mirror and say I am young, I am strong, I am fit/healthy, I am beautiful” and anytime she feels like she can’t do something she reminds herself that’s exactly what she is. It was so refreshing to see her passion and drive for life regardless of her age or what people think is suitable for her “age”.

And this is why I’ll never stop traveling, learning, and talking to people because if I live my whole life not experiencing, does my age even matter at all? So the next time someone asks me “How does it feel to be [blank]?”

I’ll say “Experienced.”